Who am I?
That’s an interesting question. I was born Alexis Shane. My parents called me their precious baby girl. My aunt, Kate, nicknamed me Lexi. Teachers and peers call me Alexis or Lexi. But one day, my best friend, Blair, called me Alex.
Alex felt right.
Being called Alexis or Lexi made me feel strange. Wrong.
When my family and friends look at me, they see a girl. They are wrong. Sure, I have a girl’s body, but it’s a mistake. I know deep in my heart, in my soul, I’m supposed to be a boy. I tried telling everyone this, but they just laughed and called me silly. That is, everyone but Blair. Blair knew.
So, who am I? I was pondering over this tormenting question, one day, while walking home from the IHOP where I worked. I didn’t feel like going straight home, so I headed for the train bridge near the river. The day was like any other; clear sky, cool autumn air, strange hoovering disc above the trees.
Okay. So the last part wasn’t part of a typical day, but it did change my life, forever.
While entering the woods to make my way to the train bridge, I heard a soft humming come from above. It sounded like the humming from electrical wires, or something like it. I peered through the colorful leaves and saw a huge, chrome disc floating above me. My heart tried pounding out of my chest, and I about filled my drawers with toxic fudge when the bottom of the disc opened, and I was engulfed in a shimmering green light.
Darkness. I don’t remember much because...well...I was either asleep or had a shield over my eyes. My mind was foggy, as though I had been drugged. Cold, clammy hands touched my body; my arms, legs, everywhere. And I mean everywhere.
Then a raspy voice said, “We are finished. The specimen has been corrected.”
Another voice said, “Yes, but what about the side effects?”
First voice, I think. “Only minor alteration from the human species. Shouldn’t be an issue.”
You can only imagine what was going through my mind. Yep. I’m having one hell of a messed up dream, or I’ve finally lost my flipping mind, or shit, I’ve been abducted by aliens and God knows what will happen to me.
Suddenly, I’m weightless, and before I knew it, I was waking up in the leaves on the forest floor. I was still in my uniform, my hair was a tangled mess, and I was freezing my ass off because it had suddenly turned night time. Wonderful. I had to hurry home before my parents sent out a search party.
I turned around and quickly left the woods. I figured I’d jog home to get there faster. The cool air blew across my face in a gentle breeze. Then... whoosh. Houses, cars, street lights, all zoomed past me in a blur. The wind hit me as though I was in a wind tunnel. I pulled myself to a halt and stumbled half a block to keep from face planting on the sidewalk in front of my house. I had run three miles in less than a minute.
WHAT THE FIG NEWTON!!
Panting, not just from the run but also from being freaked out, I slowly approached the door to my house. I didn’t know what the hell just happened, but I would think about it later.
“Where on Earth can she be?” I heard my mother’s frantic voice ask.
A quick examination of the porch and a glance in the window showed that my mother was nowhere near. Yet, I heard her voice as though she was standing right next to me. Strange.
Pushing through the front door, I called out, “Sorry I’m so late. Went to the river after work.” My voice cracked and sounded deeper. Not much. Almost like I had a frog in my throat. God, what a weird saying.
I ran upstairs to take a shower and change clothes. After throwing some clothes onto my bed, I slipped into the bathroom and flipped on the light.
“Holy Shih Tzu,” I yelled, jumping away from the mirror.
My dark-brown hair, half out of its ponytail, framed a masculine face. Not extremely masculine, I’m only sixteen after all, but definitely not the smooth feminine features I had that morning.
“Alexis, are you okay?” my mother called from outside the bathroom door.
Pitching my voice a bit, I said, “Uh, yeah. Saw an ugly black spider. Going to take a shower now, Mom.”
“Well, we need to talk after you’re done.”
Wonderful. I knew that tone. I was going to get lectured for being so late.
I stepped closer to the counter and studied my reflection. It was me, yet, it wasn’t me. My brown eyes drifted to my chest. Yep. My work shirt lay flatter. Gulping, I unbuttoned the top two buttons and took a peek. Bra was still in place but it was no longer filled with... well, you get the idea. I wondered if I had the other thing. My cheeks burned as I reached down and touched my crotch. Oh Lord.. Yep. That was there, too.
“Oh man, how am I going to explain this to Mom and Dad?”
Hoping a shower would clear my head, I stripped off my clothes, being careful not to stare at my... never mind. A hot shower was all I needed.
Standing under the steamy hot water, I closed my eyes and let my mind drift into a void. No thoughts. No worries. No weirdness. Time stood still. Or rather, I thought it had, but the banging on the bathroom door brought me back to reality.
With a sigh, I shut off the water. As I stepped out of the tub, I wrapped the towel around my waist. No need to cover the top, right? Before opening the door, I wiped the steam from the mirror to take one more look at the new me.
SHIT!!
The boobs were back, as was my feminine face. What the hell was going on.
“Lexi, hurry. I gotta pee,” my younger brother, Adam, called.
Wrapping the towel to cover my chest, I opened the door and squeezed past the little runt and ran to my room to get dressed.
What in the world is going on?
I was so confused. For the first time in my life, I was the real me. Even if it was only for a little while; I was who I was supposed to be. Now, I was back to being Alexis, a girl. The girl, who was about to face a lecture from her parents.
I sighed. “Might as well get it over with.”
I moped down the stairs and found my parents in the kitchen. I took a soda from the fridge and pulled up a seat at the table. Before they could lay into me, I quickly explained, “I’m sorry that I scared you guys. I was going to go to the train bridge to think for a little while, but I lost track of time. I’m so extremely sorry.”
“Lexi, how many times have we told you not to go to that bridge?” my father grumbled. “What if a bunch of doped up hoodlums are lurking around. It’s too dangerous.”
“For goodness sake, Dad. You’re so up tight. I’m not this helpless little girl you think I am. I wish you would see the real me.”
Then, it happened.
My mother screeched. Her chair toppled over as she bolted from the table. My father’s eyes grew as large as saucers as he gaped silently at me.
Okay. I was confused again. What was with them? Jeez, you’d think I disappeared right before their eyes.
“Who are you?”
I glanced at the entrance between the kitchen and the living room. Adam frowned at me with curiosity. “It’s me, twirp,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
I stood up to go to my brother. Adam backed away, and my father jumped from his chair and stood between us. “Don’t touch my son,” he said gruffly.
My heart pounded. Why did they seem threatened by me. Then...
I ran into the living room and peered into the clock that also served as a mirror. Just what I thought. The masculine version of me; the real me, had come back. Oh boy.
From the reflection, I saw my family gawking at me from the other side of the room. “Um, wow,” I stammered. “I... It’s me, sorta.”
I wrung my hands, scratched my head, and tried to figure out how in blazes I was going to make them understand.
“You look like my sister,” Adam stated, trying to hide a smile.
I bit my lip. “Well, that’s because I am, I guess.”
I raked my fingers through my hair and spun around to face my parents. “Remember how I’ve told you, ever since I was five, that I was a boy? I’ve always felt out of place in my own body.”
Tears filled my mother’s eyes. My dad just stared at me. I went on.
“Tonight, when I was going to the bridge... something happened. I don’t know what, exactly, so don’t ask. I must’ve passed out or something. When I woke up, I was like... this.” I gestured to my body. “But, after my shower, I was a girl again. Well, until I wished you could see the real me.”
My mom and dad exchanged a look. A look of confusion, maybe. Or was it a look of something else. Defeat? Had they really thought it was a phase that I would eventually grow out of.
My nose twitched. The scent of smoke was so overpowering that I started choking. My eyes watered, and my body burned from invisible flames.
“Lexi,.. Um, uh. Lex,” my father stammered, rushing to me. “Are you okay?”
“Help me.” Blair’s weak voice echoed inside my head.
“Blair’s house is on fire,” I exclaimed hoarsely.
Before my parents could comprehend what I was talking about, I zoomed out the door in a flash. Within seconds, I stood inside Blair’s smoke filled house. My eyes darted around looking for my best friend.
“Blair, where are you?” I called frantically.
“In here,” she choked out from behind the bathroom door. “The door is stuck and I can’t get out.”
I hurried to the door and tried the knob. The damn thing was notorious for getting jammed.
“Stand back.”
I lifted my foot and kicked the door. Holy crapazoid. The damn thing exploded into a shower of splinters. “Are you okay, Blair?”
Blair gaped at the destroyed door then at me. Her brows furrowed. “Alex?”
“Yeah. I’ll explain later.” I picked Blair up into my arms and ran back to my house. Blair stumbled when I placed her on her feet again.
My mom had just ended her call to 9-1-1 as we entered the kitchen. “Lord have mercy, you were only gone for a few minutes. How did you...” She couldn’t even finish the question.
Blair’s house was in a small suburb about ten miles from my house. Her mother always drove her to school. So yeah, you can imagine the shock in everyone’s eyes.
The firefighters managed to put out the flames, but the house was destroyed. Apparently something electrical started the fire. Blair and her mother moved in with Aunt Kate until they found another home to move into, which was now only a few blocks away from mine. Yay! Fortunately, most of their pictures and clothing were spared from the flames. Blair calls me Super Alex, her hero.
I still have trouble staying Alex, though. Whenever I’m relaxed, Alexis comes back. My parents are slowly adjusting. Adam is stoked because he has a brother and a sister, all in one as he puts it.
“Hope I can find a way to stay Alex,” I told Blair, one day. And just like that, I changed from Alexis to Alex.
Blair tilted her head. “Well, Alex has super powers and Alexis doesn’t, right?”
I nod.
Blair smiled. “Maybe, now this is just a thought. But, what if you let Alexis be your secret identity. Alex is the real you; the totally awesome you. Alexis is just the girl everyone else assumes to be ordinary. What do you think?”
I thought about it for a moment. I watched Blair’s silky auburn hair sway in the breeze. “It just depends,” I mumbled finally.
“On what?” Blair turned to face me.
“Well... on whether or not you would be okay dating both Alex and Alexis?” Oh my God, my cheeks were burning something terrible.
Blair smiled as she took my hands. She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. Alex received the kiss, but Alexis smiled with happiness.
So, who am I? I’m Alex Shane, but Alexis is my secret identity.
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